Allow me to introduce you to a part of yourself that is perfectly prepared to connect you with a deep sense of inner peace, even when you’re surrounded by chaos. If you would like a proven way to let go of struggle, self-judgment or doubt, this article is worth reading.

C.W. is your “Curious Witness.” C.W. is one of the most effective and effortless tools you’ll ever discover for transforming painful experiences into personal power and joy.

C.W. already lives inside of you. Notice that you’re analyzing the idea of a C.W. while you read this article. You’ve just proven that part of you is already playing the role of a neutral witness. This component of yourself is, and always has been, a friendly part of your core self.

When you discover how to use C.W., you develop profound trust in yourself and in the process of life. You avoid emotional roller coasters, self-judgment and judgment of your experiences.

Sound good?

With C.W., you become so curious about watching the movie of your life that you can’t wait to see how each scene turns out. You accept life on its own terms, so you’re filled with inner peace. You trust that your movie (your life) will continue to be interesting, so you have no desire or demand that it turn out a certain way. Since you have no attachment to a certain outcome, you witness your life in an impartial manner.

When you discover how to work with C.W. you observe yourself having unpleasant feelings or experiences. You don’t avoid or deny your emotions because what we resist persists. However, your emotions don’t become a primary identity. You acknowledge negative emotions and experience them as sensations in your body. You still gain the benefits of emotions, including new insights, but you’re very clear that you are not the anger, fear, or sadness that you observe yourself experiencing.

Because C.W. is a neutral, factual observer detached from emotional angst, negative feelings flow through very quickly. There’s no resistance. You easily detect misperceptions so they gently fade away. When you work with C.W., you’re blessed with an impartial umpire 24/7.

This means that you effortlessly avoid the temptation to judge your experiences as bad, unfortunate, or unnecessary. Fears of the unknown are overwhelmed by excitement concerning your next steps. Your energy is fully available to you. With the curiosity and enthusiasm of a toddler exploring a colorful new playground, you ask yourself, “I wonder what’s next?”

C.W. also calms your inner critic because you simply observe mental chatter. Instead of believing in — empowering — your critic’s negative messages, the deeper, all-knowing part of you takes over.

A wonderful and spontaneous transition occurs when C.W. consistently serves as your personal assistant. One day, you notice that you have substituted curiosity and the joy of learning for expectations that coreg 12.5 mg cause pain when they don’t come to fruition.

Because C.W. helps you experience life in the moment, you link with one of your best resources — your intuition. You steadily prove to yourself that you always have dependable inner guidance. Since happiness is a side effect of living fully in each moment and following your internal clues, you notice yourself smiling more often.

This one simple technique — employing a personal witness — can help you let go of struggle and judgment and adopt bliss as a new “familiar zone,” a 24-hour a day lifestyle. Are you ready to begin? Start now to connect with a deep state of inner peace that is always available to you. The easy proven process of using your C.W. is fully described in the books, “Transforming Pain Into Power” and “Joy on the Job.”

Are you ready to create a new life story? Sign up for your complimentary “Breakthrough Session” with certified coach, Doris Helge, Ph.D. at http://CoachingByDoris.com. Download free ebooks & audios, including “How to Thrive in a Wobbly World” at http://FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com.

Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Transforming Pain Into Power” & http://CoachingByDoris.com © 2010.

Do you know anyone who fatigues more easily during the winter months? Is it ever more difficult to get motivated or reach your peak performance during the season of short daylight? Seasonal affective Disorder (SAD) is quite common, particularly in climates with frequent gray skies or short winter days. The surprise is that even people in sunny Florida are sometimes affected by the “Winter Blues” syndrome.

SAD is related to changes in environmental light, overcast days, or inadequate indoor lighting. SAD is not only related to blue moods. It can create health problems because common symptoms include daytime fatigue, sugar binges, carbohydrate craving, weight gain, lethargy, hopelessness, lack of interest in normal activities, and social withdrawal. Most SAD sufferers hate to get out of bed in the morning because they never feel rested.

None of this produces peak performance or joy on the job. The good news is that the condition can be corrected thoughtfully and fairly inexpensively.

Light therapy has long been considered the ideal treatment for SAD. Full-spectrum bulbs and bulbs with color temperatures between 3000 and 6500 degrees can blast the winter blahs. Some studies have indicated up to 86% of people affected by winter SAD completely overcame their symptoms when the light bulbs were used consistently.

Fluorescent lights have obtained a mixed review. Some people report that fluorescents assist with SAD, but ultraviolet light can damage eyes and skin. Fluorescents can also rob the body of B vitamins, which are essential to our sense of well-being.

I previously directed a national agency located in Washington State, an area with short winter days and overcast skies for months at a time. Staff who were affected by SAD talked openly about the tendency to feel lethargic and be susceptible to the winter blahs. Tardiness and absenteeism increased as winter drug on.

After installing full-spectrum bulbs, we noted a remarkable decrease in irritability and a significant increase in energy for a very minimal cost. Teamwork began to excel. People were much more enthusiastic and they arrived on time. Health care costs declined.

Although SAD is usually discussed with respect to depression, there are also SAD stories related to anger and aggression at work. How can exchanging a colored incandescent bulb for a low-watt light bulb transform a vicious temper into a state of serenity?

A pale purple incandescent bulb can create cheerfulness by mimicking daylight. Light works for and against us. When it’s direct, glaring, or ultra-bright, it can cause eyestrain and headaches.

Because SAD is related to daylight, it is also helpful to increase outdoor activity, especially on sunny days. Humans weren’t designed to spend all winter in enclosed buildings. Gaining additional natural exposure to sun can significantly elevate energy levels. For these reasons, I encouraged our employees to go outside during breaks and did the same thing myself. Eating a balanced diet can also be immensely helpful in counteracting the tendency toward SAD.

If you are a manager or team leader, observe what happens when you survey your staff before and after directly addressing the common problem of SAD in winter, particularly in northern climates. Increased productivity, teamwork, and greater morale will make you glad you did.

Doris Helge, Ph.D. is a certified coach and mentor coach, author of “Joy on the Job,” “Transforming Pain Into Power,” and other books published in many foreign languages. Discover more compare zocor prices at http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com and http://TransformPainIntoPower.com, where you can download more free tips, articles and sample book chapters. You’ll also hear podcasts about “Secrets of Happiness” and you can sign up for the only ezine that focuses on happiness at work, the “Joy on the Job Ezine.”

If sad and mad are hanging around you this winter, get coaching about the winter blues. Visit http://CoachingByDoris.com.

You have permission to reprint the above article as long as it remains intact and proper attribution is given. © 2009.

“All suffering is the result of the mind clinging to its unfortunate thoughts.” – Buddha

In Mary Sullivan’s brilliant essay, “Are You a Carrot, an Egg or a Bean?” she depicts a distraught daughter explaining to her mother about how “hard” life is. It’s so hard, the daughter contemplates the option of “ending it all.”

The mother escorts her daughter to the kitchen and immediately fills three pots with water and puts them on the compare vitamin prices stove.

In the first pot she places carrots.
In the second she places eggs.
And in the third pot, she places coffee beans.

Without saying a word she lets them boil. Twenty minutes later, she turns off the burners. She takes out the carrots and places them in a bowl. Next, she takes the eggs out and places them in a bowl. Then, she ladles out the coffee and places it in a bowl.

The daughter then asks, “Mother, what’s your point?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. However, each responded differently. The carrots went in strong and unrelenting; but after being subjected to the boiling water, they lost their strength. The eggs were “soft-hearted;” but after sitting through the boiling water, they became hard. Their conditions had changed them.

However, the coffee beans were unique. After being placed in boiling water, the coffee beans changed the water.

The beans actually changed the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain or adversity. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

When life leads you to your “boiling point” be as a coffee bean. Show your true nature and step into your own power to change the world around you. Change your conditions and unleash the greatness within you – expect success, express gratitude and take responsibility.

By Flo Mauri, Thinking Well Consulting, www.thinkingwellconsulting.com
Leave Comments at “Chart Your Change” blog, www.flomauri01@wordpress.com

BLAST MYTHS THAT CREATE HOLIDAY STRESS

Myth #1:  People are so stressed and depressed during the holiday season that the suicide rate rises.

Truth: The rate of suicide drops during the holidays because happiness is related to feeling connected to other people. Most of us attend more social gatherings during colchicine prescriptions mexico the holidays than any other time of year.

Myth #2: You have to be superhuman to get your usual job tasks done and attack an endless holiday to-do list.

Truth: Most of us unconsciously feed each other’s anxiety like gasoline fuels a fire.

SHIELD YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVITY AT WORK

Identify and say “No thank you” to sources of negativity that have nothing to do with you.

Notice frantic thoughts and emotions. Are they yours? When did they emerge? How were you feeling before you began to feel uneasy?

We constantly create our reality with our thoughts and feelings. Imagination and emotion are generally more powerful than logic or “reality.”  Your thoughts have oomph.

Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Because of the way humans are hardwired, focusing on your preferred outcome can trigger happiness at work.

REV UP YOUR INNATE ABILITY TO CREATE JOY ON THE JOB

Positive anticipation is like a magic potion that creates happy feelings. The mere thought of achieving a goal makes feel-good chemicals flow through your body. Prove this to yourself.

1. Notice how you feel when you plan a fun event. When you anticipate something you’ll enjoy, you activate your brain’s pleasure centers. Joy on the job can emerge before a reward materializes.

2. Close your eyes. Observe your emotions when you imagine completing a report and turning it in.

Purposely give yourself something to look forward to so you can enjoy more happiness at work.

Imagine what it would be like to enjoy your preferred outcome. Savor that sweet sensation for at least 15 seconds. You have begun to create a positive neural network in your brain that will expand over time.

Construct a new preferred highway of associative networks in your brain. An action such as touching your thumbs to your index fingers while feeling pleasurable emotions will stimulate your brain to create an automatic response you can recall at will. Repeat this anchoring process until your new highway is strong and stable. It will keep you on track as you work toward your goal.

Your rewards will be amazing as long as you also take action to achieve your goals.

Positive thinking, even when combined with the power of pleasurable feelings, will merely keep you out of the doldrums unless it is coupled with focused action. Acknowledge, without resistance, any negative emotions that emerge.

PUT HOLIDAY STRESS AT WORK TO REST

Withdraw from the fray when other people unconsciously prod each other to fret about the future. Identify sources of negativity. Don’t take on emotions and concerns that aren’t yours.

Focus on your preferred outcome. Use proven neurolinguistic programming (NLP) techniques and positive anticipation to guide you toward joy on the job all year.  In this article, we explored one tried-and-true NLP technique. To discover many more, grab a copy of the book, “Joy on the Job” and sign up for coaching with “The Joy Coach.”

To discover more happiness in all areas of your life, sign up for your free “Discovery Session” with “The Joy Coach.” You’ll leave the session enthusiastic, re-energized, and with crystal-clear clarity about your next steps.

You can also download free ebooks and podcasts like “Secrets of Happiness,” “Thrive in a Wobbly World,” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now,” at http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com.  Doris Helge, Ph.D., is 100% dedicated to your happiness and success.  Discover more at www.CoachingByDoris.com or http://MastermindWithDoris.com.

©  2009. This article was excerpted with permission from “Joy on the Job” by  Doris Helge, Ph.D.  Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in  tact, with proper credit given.  All reprints must state “Reprinted with permission  by  Doris  Helge, Ph.D.  Originally published in “Joy on the Job,”  http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com ©  2009.

Contrary to popular wisdom, it should be easier — not tougher — to spell “Happiness at Work” during the holiday season. Here are some tips for boosting your joy on the job during the festive winter season of peace and joy.

H –– Humor. Most of us act like we have delight-deficiency disorder during the holiday season. Research has proven that we get our work done better and faster when we relax and enjoy performing our tasks. Laughter reduces stress. Encourage employees and customers to think of bumper stickers they might see on the back of Santa’s sleigh . . . like “I brake for cookies.”

A––Ambience. Cubicles covered with constantly blinking, bright red lights will jar anyone’s nervous system. Substitute tiny, soft lights that provide the holiday atmosphere you’re seeking without disrupting your peace on Earth.

P––Perspective. The holiday season is a time to notice how blessed we are and give to those less fortunate. Organize an office donation or volunteer effort for a local charity. It will bring you joy and help you drop your compulsion to find the perfect gift for the person who needs nothing.

P––Postpone procrastination. It may look like Santa has no duties 364 days out of the year, but that’s because he paces production all year long. List what you think you really need to do. Take a break, review your list, and delete all nonessential tasks. Address a few items each day and you’ll accomplish all of your important tasks with minimal stress.

I––Infuse purpose. If you don’t want to attend a mandatory holiday function because you hate meaningless small talk, take charge of your life. Create precious networking opportunities with people you don’t normally work with. Be authentic. Other people will gravitate to you like bees to honey.

N––Not-to-do. Don’t agree to carry more than of your share of the load because resentment is a heavy burden. When you decide what to wear and drink at the office party, remember you may be making a presentation to the same people soon. If someone behaves inappropriately, extract yourself calmly and with compassion so you can maintain a business relationship.

E––Energize with alpha. Emergency room personnel and other high-stress employees understand the power of the alpha state of mind. This is a way of being in which we are relaxed yet focused. You can quickly and easily de-stress by focusing on your breath and counting. Create a pattern of deep rhythmic breathing even if you’re rushing to a meeting.

S––Strengths based language. Your internal dialog programs your reality. “When I accomplish this task” produces a very different result than “If I ever finish this assignment . . . ” Notice how empowered you feel with small shifts in your language. When you don’t know how to modify your self-talk, ask yourself, “What would an optimistic person say?”

S––Self care. Elevate your spirit. Aromatherapy is a mood mender. Lavender calms and bergamot stimulates the production of the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin. Peppermint increases productivity and focus. Work in your workout time even if you have to shorten it during the holidays.

A––Altruism. Happiness at work is related to pursuing meaningful goals with an altruistic motivation. Give in fun, no-cost ways. Enjoy making the day of a harassed coworker by being the one person who smiles and doesn’t demand the impossible.

T––Talk it out. Express your needs instead of expecting coworkers to guess your stress. Some conflicts require new behaviors by both parties, but talking openly about stresses helps you bond. Connections with others are a major component of joy on the job.

W––Watch your cash flow. Most employees today enjoy gag gifts or a grab-bag gift exchange with a ceiling price. Companies have become very creative about enjoying the least expensive seasonal entertainments, such as caroling or enjoying free concerts. An in-house improvisational theatre performance can be delightful . . . no preparation and lots of laughs.

O––Open mindedness. We sap our energy and become lethargic when we unconsciously scarf holiday treats. Overindulgence weakens the immune system during the very season we want to celebrate. We can enjoy our goodies much more by eating a smaller amount and slowly savoring every bite. Eating thoughtfully ensures that we’ll stop before becoming too full.

R––Rest and recharge. Burning the candle at both ends guarantees only one thing . . . you’ll become ill and sniffle through a chunk of your holiday season. Get your Zzzzzzs. If you can’t find time for a tiny break during the day, imagine for just a few minutes that you are totally relaxed. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what you imagine. Feed your body feelings of relaxation. It will reward you with less tension.

K––Keep your focus. Anticipating a positive outcome stimulates happy feelings. The mere thought of achieving a goal, whether it’s a fun office party or receiving more support from coworkers, makes feel-good chemicals course though your body. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

To discover more happiness in all areas of your life, sign up for your free “Discovery Session” with “The Joy Coach.” You’ll leave the session enthusiastic, re-energized, and with crystal-clear clarity about your next steps.

You can also download free ebooks and podcasts like “Secrets of Happiness,” “Thrive in a Wobbly World,” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now,” at http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com. Doris Helge, Ph.D., is 100% dedicated to your happiness and success. Discover more at www.CoachingByDoris.com or http://MastermindWithDoris.com.

© 2009. This article was excerpted with permission from “Joy on the Job” by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Joy on the Job,” http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com © 2009.

“The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart. ~Alexander Solzhenitsyn

I heard this story over 30 years ago and never forgot it.

A banquet is being held in the neighborhood of heaven, while a similar banquet is being held in the vicinity of hell. Each long table is covered in white damask table clothes. There is an abundance of roasts, casseroles, soups, spreads, a variety of fish, crustaceans, delectable grilled, sautéed, and dressed vegetables with scrumptious international foods and pastries to put a French patisserie to shame.

In each banquet hall, there are 24 seats at the table, 12 on each side so that guests are facing each other. All the guests, both in heaven and in hell, unfortunately have their arms in casts (from their shoulders to their wrists), and positioned in such a way as to have their arms extended out in front of them.

The guests in hell are really miserable. They can reach for the food, but they cannot bend their arms to reach their mouths. They couldn’t be more wretched. They just sit there looking at all the delectable food and starve.

The guests in heaven also have casts on their arms, but they figured out that while they can’t feed themselves, they can feed someone else and that someone else can feed them. They all have a good old time feeding each other enjoying the great abundance of food.

So, the question is, in which one of the above zip codes are you living? Are you a Bedford Falls resident or do you live in Pottersville?

You can find out more about Flo Mauri by visiting her website or blog below:

Website

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Have you ever come across someone at work whose behavior is quite rude and appalling and yet he/she passes under the radar. It’s as if the behavior is not seen and yet it takes a distressing toll on the workplace. Below the waterline behavior has been defined as “actions such as making false accusations, glaring, discounting others’ ideas, backbiting, gossiping, constantly criticizing, giving people the silent treatment, making impossible demands, etc. All are examples of not treating people with the respect they deserve.” Bullies, in particular, tend to single out their intended targets when no one is watching. A bully is someone who has found a behavior that works because he or she has identified opportunities and others as victims. As my mentor would say, you cannot have a tyrant without a victim. This speaks to a victim mindset. We have all read stories and have seen movies where one day, the “victim” stands his/her ground and confronts his/her harasser.

In the “Shawshank Redemption,” the “victim,” Andy Dufresne, took about 20 years to achieve his deliverance from his aggressors, the warden and a guard. There were mitigating circumstances. In the end, he not only escaped, but made it possible for others to be freed from all future transgressions by the aggressors. It was beautiful to watch.

The hero, Andy, defies the warden and is repeatedly punished. He figures out another way to release himself from this tyranny and this has a profound retribution effect on his bullies. He escapes, reaches the river and is washed clean of his past by the rain – above the waterline, while his nemesis is symbolically drowning below the waterline (his bad behavior takes a toll). The lasting take-away from this tale, is that redemption works both ways. There is a kind of karmic dust sprinkled on both villain and hero.

Sometimes confronting clonidine sleeping prescription the bully takes on a more indirect approach. Breaking the chains in which tyrannical bullies encircle the workplace require a commitment to self. How important is it to your well-being and happy state of mind?

In the book “Crucial Confrontations,” there’s a piece about deciding when to speak up and there are three questions to help you decide. We can always find reasons for remaining silent and we know that it often leads to unresolved problems. Ask yourself the following to make sure you’re not avoiding something you should confront:
• Am I acting out my concern?
• Am I telling myself I’m helpless?
• Is my conscience nagging me?

Taking action may require support from others, and external resources to help you. When you do take action, remember your triumph and congratulate yourself on standing your ground.

November has now included a Freedom From Bullies in the Workplace Week — a national awareness movement sponsored by Workplace Bullying Institute to eradicate bullying by combining public education, help for individuals, employer solutions and legislative advocacy. In many workplaces this bellow the waterline behavior is not easily identified. It does not fall into the category of sexual, racial, gender orientation harassment — but we know it exists!

One of the tenets of coaching is to respect the client’s humanity. This goes beyond giving the respect people deserve. It embraces the concept that we see the foibles, flaws, issues and behaviors of others in the light of the journey we are all taking and know that we are all at different intersections and even on different roads and to respect where people are at any given point in time. Nevertheless, we can set boundaries and teach others not to cross them.

I welcome your thoughts, and/or your story of a journey you have made or are making regarding bullies in the workplace. Leave comments at Chart Your Change.

Website: www.thinkingwellconsulting.com
Blog: www.flomauri01.wordpress.com

Birth canals are small, uncomfortable passageways that simultaneously produce almost indescribable joy and pain. We are always giving birth to new aspects of ourselves. We walk down frightening paths only to discover new layers of confidence. Our self-doubts arise specifically so we can give birth to heightened degrees of self-love and empowerment. An uncomfortable feeling such as anger, fear, or sadness rears its head and most of us want to numb, disguise, or deny it.

This approach is usually as successful as trying to transport bullfrogs in a wheelbarrow. Negative feelings continue to demand our attention. Since we didn’t heed the call the first time, painful feelings scream louder. Unpleasant situations magnify so we can gain the personal growth available from them. Do you know anyone who left an unpleasant job or relationship only to re-create the unpleasant scenario?

Running from painful emotions can also place our physical health at risk.  When we repress negative emotions, we stifle the flow of energy through our bodies. We inadvertently suppress our immune system and perceive events as more stressful than they really are. We feel confused and disconnected from the people we love.

Whether we are avoiding anger or love, the price of our unwillingness to be honest about our feelings can be quite high. On the other hand, allowing life to touch us has tremendous benefits.

THE PARADOX . . . AND NEW POSSIBILITIES

Positive psychology is often confused with the use of positive thinking and affirmations. When we rush toward a positive conclusion without gaining the wisdom available from an unpleasant event or emotion, we unintentionally set ourselves up to repeat a negative experience. You’ve known people who walked away from an unpleasant job or relationship and later repeated the scenario.

When we struggle to “put on a happy face” or try the “fake it ’til you make it” approach, even if we gain a brief respite from uneasy feelings, we find ourselves struggling to maintain a façade. Buried feelings never die. They resurface, usually at a very inconvenient time. Then we repeat the same uncomfortable emotions and difficult challenges.

When we strain to “release” or “let go of” painful experiences or emotions, we have labeled emotions like anger, sadness, and fear as negative or toxic. Many people don’t understand that pain and pleasure exist side by side in our brains. Anger cuddles next to peace, love, and happiness. Fear is nestled next to confidence.  Sadness snuggles up to joy. You can see that suppressing a negative emotion can stifle our ability to experience the opposite positive emotions we love.

Consider the example of anger, which is passion for ourselves. (“I deserve better than that” or “I want more out of life.”) When we embrace anger (experience it), more self-love appears. Once we express our irritations in a safe and constructive way, we usually discover that we’ve angry with ourselves because we’ve positioned ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. Then we stop blaming other people, our compassion for them increases, and forgiveness is spontaneous.

Most parents love their children too much to try to protect them from painful learning experiences. Wise parents shield their children from unnecessary pain or danger by teaching them how to be physically safe and develop decision-making skills. However, parents with foresight know that efforts to guard their children from any pain would cheat them out of developing their abilities to meet life on its own terms. They would grow up as shallow adults totally unprepared to solve problems or empower themselves by meeting new challenges. The same is true for us as adults.

Discover the hidden gifts of negative experiences and emotions. Then you’ll never feel like a victim to unpleasant feelings and life experiences that are amazing tools for the healthy personal power and self-love you crave.

Discover how to safely use all negative emotions to create healthier relationships and a more fulfilling, successful work life. Once you know how to use anger in a healthy way, you’ll open a magical door to greater self-respect and rich, rewarding relationships. Learn to feel the sweet memories that are hidden within your deepest grief. Studies that chemically analyzed tears indicated that teardrops cleanse stress hormones. That’s why we feel less fatigued after crying. Our sobs are an innate clonidine sales gift because tears assist the body in washing away toxins.

Learn why you should be celebrating self-doubt and fear. These negative emotions are like the first robins of spring. They are announcing the imminent arrival of a bright new future and bold new layers of confidence.

ACCEPT THE ASSISTANCE YOU DESERVE

Asking for help when you feel stuck is a sign of high self-esteem. (You’re saying to yourself, “I deserve a better life!”) Would you like to work with a compassionate coach who helps you overcome the blocks to your happiness and success? Sign up for a FREE laser coaching session. Discover how quickly you can move into the fast lane and achieve your dreams. Email: Doris@ConfidentCoachConnection.com today.

Visit www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com and claim your free ebooks & podcasts, including “Secrets of Happiness” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now.” Doris Helge, Ph.D., “The Joy Coach” is author of “Joy on the Job” and “Transforming Pain Into Power.” Discover more at www.CoachingByDoris.com.

© 2009. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Transforming Pain Into Power” & http://www.MoreJoyOnTheJob.com © 2009

YOU’VE ALREADY PROVEN THIS APPROACH WORKS

What happens when you enthusiastically pursue a goal even though you’ve never proven you can succeed in that arena . . . and you refuse to label yourself a failure when you don’t immediately achieve your goal?

You have a rich history of doing this. In fact, this pattern was responsible for one of your greatest successes: You ignored Physics 101 and defied the force of gravity.

When you were a small child learning to walk, you fell over and over again. Even though you were often frustrated, you didn’t label yourself “a failure.” You didn’t feel worthless. Each new attempt to amble around was a hopeful, determined fresh start.

Children learning to walk don’t waste energy judging their performance as inadequate. They focus on what they want. They master many new skills quickly because they see, smell, hear, and taste the benefits of success.

Instead of feeling inadequate, babies concentrate, using all of their senses. “I want to be held. I want to grab that cookie that smells like it will taste yummy. I want to see people smile at me and hear them coo. There’s something interesting in the next room and I’ll do what it takes to get there.”

How about you? Do you really understand that one of the greatest secrets of success is utterly simple?  –  Stand up more often than you fall down.

I’M COACHING YOU TO USE THE DESIGN OF YOUR BRAIN

Below is an exercise my clients love when they’re discouraged or afraid to take a healthy risk. My team and I also field-tested this exercise during the National Happiness at Work Studies that led to writing the book, “Joy on the Job.”

I coach with your brain in mind. I’ve carefully designed exercises like this multisensory activity to enrich stimulation to several areas of your brain that will help you change in positive ways. This helps you enjoy creatively confronting your challenges. Since I’m also helping you link your thinking brain with your emotional brain, exercises like this  help you embrace, rather than fear, new experiences. We can talk later about why a multisensory approach is so important to your achievement. For now, just remember the previous example of how the most rapid human achievers (babies) progress.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO GAIN?

1. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for at least 10 minutes. Sit quietly and breathe deeply.
2. Focus on a healthy risk you’ve wanted to take but haven’t because you fear the possibility of failure. Note: Intelligent risks are not impulsive. Although the potential outcome is uncertain, you have previously considered the foreseeable consequences of your actions.
3. Close your eyes and imagine what life would be like if you did clonidine 0.2 mg fail. Write a one-sentence description of how you would feel. If you weren’t successful, would you gain feedback that would allow you to improve your method or go another direction?
4. Complete the following sentence stem. “If I was not afraid of failure, I’d _______________.”
5. Close your eyes again. Imagine possible benefits of meeting your goal. Talk out loud, using rich multisensory language that describes what it would be like to achieve your desire. Speak in the present tense. Example: “I feel relieved because I’m now comfortable sharing my opinions in a tactful way. I see a new sparkle in my eyes when I look in the mirror. I hear myself breathing deep, calm breaths. When I hold my favorite pen or smell freshly perked coffee, I remember how satisfying it feels to accomplish an objective. Each time I take a bite out of a delicious piece of food, I savor the sweet memory of the taste of success.”
6. Pause a few moments to cherish the vivid sensations of achieving your goal.
7. Now imagine how it will feel if you do nothing. What will your life be like if you just continue to experience what dissatisfies you?
8. Decide if you have more to gain by clinging to your “familiar zone” and not attempting to achieve your dreams by taking a healthy risk.

CROSS THE FINISH LINE BY FAILING FORWARD

Avoiding risks is so risky that it’s a reliable recipe for failure and unhappiness. Since only a hen lays down on the job and gets results, take your next steps now.

• Write down the next healthy risk you’re going to take.
• When will you take your next step forward?
• How is this willingness to bet on yourself evidence that you trust the process of your life?

Post your note where you’ll see it often. After two days, send me an email letting me know about your progress.

ACCEPT THE ASSISTANCE YOU DESERVE

Asking for help when you feel stuck is a sign of high self-esteem. Would you like to work with a coach who helps you use sound science to overcome the blocks to your happiness and success? Contact me for a FREE laser coaching session. Discover how quickly you can move into the fast lane and achieve your dreams. Email: Doris@ConfidentCoachConnection.com today.

Visit www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com and claim your free ebooks & podcasts, including “Secrets of Happiness at Work” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now.” Doris Helge, Ph.D., “The Joy Coach” is author of “Joy on the Job” and “Transforming Pain Into Power.” Discover more at www.MoreJoyOnTheJob.com

© 2009. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Joy on the Job” & http://www.MoreJoyOnTheJob.com © 2008

One of my clients recently spent days trying to find the perfect black blazer and white shirt to wear to a job interview because she had been advised, “That’s what the company will expect you to wear.”

My client doesn’t usually wear black because, “I look washed out.” She doesn’t own a blazer because she hates the way they fit, “I feel like I’m stuck in a straitjacket.” This woman is extraordinarily talented and well trained in high-tech applications.

You can imagine her big sigh of relief when I asked, “If you aren’t yourself during an interview . . . if you wear a black blazer and white shirt because that’s what everyone else does . . . how will you stand out? And, more importantly, who will you be during your 8 to 5 if you weren’t yourself during the interview?”

There are over five billion people on our planet. Not one single person, even when they have an identical twin, is exactly like anyone else. Why do over 95 percent of the people you know struggle to become like everyone else?

When you’re being yourself, your competition vanishes because no one else is qualified to be you. You are the only person who can play your unique role.

Limit the distance between who you are and how you earn a living. You’ll be living “on purpose.” This guarantees that you’ll be happy most of the time.

Pay attention to what you’re doing when you feel content or happy while you’re working. Joy on the job is a message from the universe that you’re in touch with your life’s purpose.

Do more of what you enjoy and become creative about doing less of what drains your drive. Since we’re all different, there is someone who will enjoy doing the tasks you dread. There are also proven ways to transform the chores you dread into fascinating activities.

Take responsibility for your own well being. If you’re employed by someone else, remember that managers are impressed with employees who take the initiative to suggest ways to redesign their jobs in ways that everyone will win.

The point is to honor who you are. Then you can capitalize on your strengths instead of warring with your weaknesses. What if world-renowned physicist, Stephen Hawking, had avoided being in the world because he “didn’t fit in?” Hawking doesn’t focus on his paralysis. He’s having too much fun proposing theories about how the planet can be saved so your grandchildren will have a place to live.

Stop holding back until you feel like you’re “good enough.” Identify something you’re passionate about and have fun discovering how to make that part of your life’s work. Make a positive difference while you’re on Earth.

Do it for you, because you want to live like Helen Keller who often said, “Life should be a daring adventure, or nothing.” Don’t cheat the world out of the special gift you are genetically programmed to provide.

Do it now.

Visit http://www.FreeJoyEbooks.com now and GET YOUR FREE  EBOOK:  “Get  the  Respect & Appreciation You  Deserve.”  Doris Helge, Ph.D. is “The Joy Coach.” Dr. Helge is 100% dedicated to your happiness and success.

©  2009. This article was excerpted with permission from “Transforming Pain Into Power” by Doris Helge, Ph.D.  Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given.  All reprints must state “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D.  Originally published in “Joy on the Job,” clomid no prescription target=”_blank”>http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com © 2009. Download sample chapters at: www.TransformingPainIntoPower.com