A PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP INTO

A POWERFUL PARTNERSHIP

by Doris Helge, PhD. © 2012

YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF: THE MAGICAL INGREDIENT IN A POWERFUL PARTNERSHIP

The foundation of any happy relationship is a rich relationship with your Self. When you’re comfortable being 100 percent YOU, you live your values, so your life is always on-track. Because you don’t waste energy comparing yourself to other people, your inner critic takes a long snooze.

We are all hardwired to crave similar relationship goals.

• Powerful, productive professional partnerships
• Passionate romance fueled by a nurturing, loving, supportive relationship
• Peaceful parenting in which each person is heard, respected, loved and validated

Unfortunately, most people are struggling to be comfortable living in their own skin. Some people struggle to people please. Because they go along to get along, their colleagues and partners don’t trust them. There is an instinctive awareness, “I can’t count on them not to sway whichever way the wind blows, just to stay upright, no matter what happens to the rest of us.”

Other knee-jerk responses when people feel unstable in a wobbly world also sabotage relationships. Some people who feel out of control try to micro-manage or manipulate other people. Others withdraw from social interactions. Some hoard essential information and resources. Others engage in addictive behaviors. Some play the blame-and-victim-game, “I’m a victim and you’re the cause of my unhappiness.”

On the other hand, when you steadily shine your authentic inner light, most people will be drawn to you like sailors lured to a lighthouse on a stormy night.  Since so many people are struggling to discover their True Selves, most folks will be inspired by your example. They’ll sense that you’re living your values. You’ll be valued and validated just as you are.

THE DANCE OF YOUR TRUE SELF AND YOUR FALSE SELF

You are the one person with whom you will spend the rest of your life.

Each time you elevate your self-awareness, you foster a new level of self-acceptance.

It’s never who you are

that holds you back.

It’s who you think you are.

Each of us possesses a True Self and a False Self. Your True Self is the essence of who you are, no matter what other people have told you about yourself. Unfortunately, your True Self is often overshadowed by Your False Self. This self-image includes erroneous negative perceptions and self-judgments.

You can easily tell the difference between the two. Since your True Self is the true you, when you are living that reality, you are more likely to experience the following.

• You feel confident.
• You think clearly.
• You feel peaceful, contented or joyful.

When your False Self is in control, you are more likely to experience the opposite.

• You judge yourself harshly.
• You feel separate from other people.
• You compare yourself unfavorably to others or vice-versa.
• You feel like you must be superior to other people in order to feel secure or confident.
• You insist that you’re right or devalue someone else’s point of view.
• You’re plagued by a negative outlook on life.

Your False Self thrives by being out of sync with the present moment and the infinite possibilities available to you. It plays old movies that vividly portray a wide variety of unpleasant events from your past. Sinister soundtracks screech and hiss. Your False Self Theatre also specializes in graphic, detailed horror movies regarding potential, but very unlikely, future events. When False Self runs the show, it is as if you’ve invited the most critical commentator you could find to shadow you 24/7 and deliver a devilish documentary detailing evidence that you are capable of making mistakes. (Who isn’t?) The dreadful dialogue in the drama drags to the final forecast: Your life will never improve.

The next time you notice that your False Self is running the show, make a decision to create inner peace by spending a few minutes reconnecting with Your True Self. Close your eyes and breathe deeply while you consciously shift your posture into your most peaceful, confident way of being.

A RICH RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF IS THE ULTIMATE SHIELD AGAINST NEGATIVITY

The external world mirrors our relationship with ourselves back to us so we can see ourselves more clearly. This gift is often wrapped in prickly wrapping paper. An example is when someone else provides us the service of judging us harshly until we achieve a deep inner peace about our bulges and wrinkles. When we deny or ignore a negative mirror, the reflection usually becomes more intense until we love ourselves enough to admit our flaws and clean up our act.

The mirrors we don’t like to view can help us make a critical choice to act with higher integrity. We can resolve old hurts and behavior patterns and honor our true potential. We can decide to stop judging our imperfections. We may eventually decide, “What other people think of me is none of my business. I’m free to be my True Self!”

Sometimes a mirror is like a milestone marker for a world-class athlete. It’s a benchmark reflecting substantial progress. A characteristic someone shines to us causes us to notice, “I used to judge myself for being _______. Now it’s time to celebrate because I cleaned up my act.”

Allow the dance of your true self and your false self to inspire your journey toward greater freedom, joy and success. Because your new treasure chest of self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-respect will comprise the most powerful and dependable support system you can cultivate, your external relationships will be easier and more rewarding.

© 2012 Excerpted with permission from the Amazon.com #1 Bestselling book, “Joy on the Job” by Doris Helge, Ph.D. With over 20 years of experience, award-winning, Certified Master Coach Dr. Doris, has a proven track record of helping people like you Create Your New Life Story. Download your free ebooks and see client testimonials at http://FreeJoyEbooks.com. Sign up to test drive the next teleclass series, “TRANSFORM A PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP INTO A POWERFUL PARTNERSHIP” at http://TeleclassesWithDoris.com.

You may reprint this article as long as it remains intact and proper attribution is given.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR YOU

• “Transforming Pain Into Power  –  Making the Most of Your Emotions” http://TransformingPainIntoPower.com
• “Joy on the Job” http://.JoyOnTheJobBook.com
• “Conquer Your Inner Critic” http://.CoachingByDoris.com/innercriticfreebies
• Sign up for coaching: http://.CoachingByDoris.com/contact
• Sign up for your complimentary teleclass: http://TeleclassesWithDoris.com

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Enjoy happiness at work. Zap job stress! Gain “Joy on the Job.” Turn difficult people into supporters. Enjoy work-life balance. Doris Helge, Ph.D. shares the success strategies you need. You’ll build a support system & surround yourself with positive feedback when you reduce negativity at work. Enjoy peak performance whether you are an employee, solopreneur, manager or business owner. Proven techniques used by “One of the Top 10 Coaches in America” & Amazon.com #1 Bestselling Author, Life Coach & Business Coach, Dr. Doris. You’ll create much more fun and fulfillment at work so transform painful experience and emotions into Your Ideal Work Life now!

For more information, visit www.FreeJoyEbooks.com and www.JoyOnTheJobBook.com

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There are thousands of coaches in the world. How will you discover the one special, certified coach who can help you deliver your dreams to your doorstep?

Choose your coach carefully. Most clients work with their coach a minimum of six months. You can see why it’s so important that you feel comfortable, understood and validated. It takes time to become aware of and reverse thoughts, emotions and behaviors that are holding you back. Select a certified coach you’ll enjoy talking to on a regular basis. Trust is essential to your happiness and success. Most clients share far more with their coaches than their best friends or families!

Ask your potential coach to provide a complimentary consultation so both of you can decide if you’re a match for each other. If you aren’t, your coach will be happy to refer you to someone who can better assist you.

You want to make sure your coach knows how to challenge you in ways that graduate you from your existing comfort zone . . . at your perfect pace. Ask your prospective coach about their level of training and experience. What certifications have they received? How will you know the coach you’re considering truly understands your life path?

ENJOY USING YOUR INTUITION AND THIS HELPFUL COACH SELECTION TOOL

When you’ve gained all of the information you need, ask your intuition to point you to the right coach. You’ll instinctively know who you want to work with. If you’re feeling conflicted about choosing between two coaches, use the exercise below to gain clarity from your inner guidance.

• Write the names of each coach you’re considering hiring on a sheet of paper, one name per column. When you’re doing this exercise, think about only one coach at a time.
• Close your eyes and imagine working for several months with the coach you’re considering. Notice your first impressions. Then open your eyes and record your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
• Since your body is a key resource for accessing your intuition, use this precious tool. When you think about working with the coach you’re thinking about, check into your heart and you gut.

Do you feel:

• warm and supported?
• apprehensive?
• neutral?
• eager to get started with this coach?

• Be sure to record any questions or challenges that emerge when you think about selecting the coach you’re thinking about. A coach with high integrity will be happy to answer all of your questions.
• If you want to consider another coach, move your body around so you can let go of the energy of considering the last coach you had in mind. Then consider your next potential coach with a clear mind.
• Repeat the process until you’ve considered each possible coach.
• Compare your notes. Which coach feels like the best person to support you as you create the life you really want to create? Who asked the most provocative questions about your stuck spots in a total non-judgmental manner?
• If you’re still not clear, interview another coach or take a break from the process after asking yourself out loud, “I wonder which coach will be the most helpful to me at this time of my life. Which coach truly understands me, my needs and my dreams?”
• Your mind will search for the answer while you go about your life, so trust the process and your inner guidance.

When you’re ready to give yourself the amazing gifts you gain when you sign up for coaching with a professional coach, enjoy the rich rewards of coaching. It’s a proven process. Your return of investment (ROI) when you hire a certified coach is fully described in another article, “Proof that coaching is an excellent investment…What is your return on investment when you hire the right coach for you?”

© 2010. Are you ready to create a new life story? Download your free ebooks and MP3s at http://FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com. Sign up for your complimentary “Personal Breakthrough Consultation” with certified coach and bestselling author, Doris Helge, Ph.D. at http://CoachingByDoris.com.

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Doris Helge, Ph.D. © 2011

Doris@ConfidentCoachConnection.com

www.ConfidentCoachConnection.com

Top athletes hire coaches to ensure that they stay on track. Executives, students, employees, entrepreneurs, and stay-at-home parents who want to be all they can be hire professional coaches. They gain clarity, guidance and accountability. They elevate their confidence, build thriving businesses and relationships, improve their health and accomplish other major life goals.

The power of coaching begins the moment the client makes a firm commitment to themselves. They hire a coach to help them consciously walk the path to self-actualization. Since everyone in the client’s life gains secondary benefits, the reasonable expense of hiring a coach is even easier to justify.

WHAT IS YOUR RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI) WHEN YOU HIRE A COACH?

When you hire a professional coach who has demonstrated that they truly care about your progress, research indicates that you’re making a wise decision. Even when we have a clear goal, there may be just a 50/50 chance of success because we need to consistently take focused action. We need a system that works for us . . . a way to stay motivated and on track. A well-trained professional coach can escalate your journey to success.

COACHING: THE POWER OF ACCOUNTABILITY

The following statistics from the American Society of Training and Development website, http://ASTD.org illustrate the probability of successfully completing a goal.

• 10% if we hear an idea
• 25% if we consciously decide to adopt the idea
• 40% if we decide when we will take action
• 50% if we make a specific plan regarding how we will achieve our goal
• 65% if we commit to someone else that we will complete the goal
• 95% if we have a specific accountability appointment with the person to whom we make the commitment. THIS IS THE POWER OF COACHING. At your request, your coach becomes your accountability partner. The statistics below further validate this approach.

A study was quoted on page 222 of Lechter, Sharon L. & Reid, Greg (2009). NY: Sterling Publishing Company. The survey was conducted by the International Coach Federation (ICF) and revealed that people who are coached report a positive change in personal work habits as well as the following improvements.

• 62.4% smarter goal setting
• 60.5% more balanced life
• 57.1% lower stress levels
• 52.4% more self-confidence
• 43.4% improvement in quality of life
• 25.7% more income

For more information about the International Coach Federation (ICF) survey, google “International Coach Federation + 62.4% smarter goal setting + www.coachfederation.org/includes/redirects/articlecount.cfm?…

In addition, the following statistics are quoted from the Avatar website, http://avatarbusinesscoaching.com/Coaching_Statistics_info.html

1. Manchester, Inc. study reported a return of $6 for every dollar spent on coaching. Improvement was made in bottom-line profitability, productivity, quality,organizational strength, customer service, reducing company complaints and cost reductions.

The American Society for Training and Development studies have shown that training, when combined with coaching, increases productivity by 86%, as opposed to a 22% increase with training alone.

• Niche Power Group reported:

“Statistics on business coaching have proved that using a business coach can increase your profit margin by an average of 46%. However, further statistics reveal that 42% of businesses don’t use a business coach . . . The 42% who are not using the guidance of a business coach are at risk of being left behind, regardless of how proficient they are in running a business.”

• The International Coach Federation ICF surveyed 210 coaching clients. Each client surveyed had a formal, ongoing relationship with a coach with an average duration of 9 months. The study determined:
  • Value of coaching investment:

70% very valuable

28.5% valuable

• Level of confidence in the coach:

50% confide as much as their best friend, spouse or therapist

12% confide in their coach more than anyone else

• Primary Role of the coach:

84.8% Sounding board

78.1% Motivator

50.5% Mentor

46.7% Business Consultant

41% Teacher

A recent study of 100 executives who received coaching reported that their companies benefited from improvements in:

• Productivity (53%)
• Quality (48%)
• Organizational Strength (48%)
• Customer service (39%)
• Reducing customer complaints (34%)
• Cost reductions (23%)
• Bottom-line profitability (22%)

DECIDE FOR YOURSELF

There are thousands of coaches in the world. How will you discover the one special, certified coach who can help you deliver your dreams to your doorstep? To receive your “Guide to Select Your Certified Coach,” go to http://CoachingByDoris.com and enter your request, “How do I select the right certified coach for me?” where you see “Contact Us.”

© 2010. Are you ready to create a new life story? Download your free ebooks and MP3s at http://FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com. Sign up for your complimentary “Personal Breakthrough Consultation” with certified coach and bestselling author, Doris Helge, Ph.D. at http://CoachingByDoris.com. Dr. Doris is founder of Confident Coach Connection and trains coaches for IAC certification. Discover more at http://ConfidentCoachConnection.com.

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ARTICLE SUMMARY

Self assessments and personality indicators like Myers-Briggs and the DISC behavioral model assessment can be helpful tools for personal and professional growth. Psychometric inventories and assessments can also create limited thinking about our potential growth, achievement, flexibility and success. Self-discovery with a certified coach is a proven way to leap out of the self-assessment limitation box.

Integrating coaching with assessment tools is a win-win strategy. Employers and individuals such as entrepreneurs and employees can use assessments in the most advantageous ways without being trapped by their inherent limitations. See the related article, “Proof: Coaching is an Excellent Investment . . . Discover the return on investment (ROI) of coaching” on this web site. You’ll see statistics about the proven results of working with a certified coach. You’ll discover internal as well as external resources to propel your success.

ARE YOU IN THE SELF-ASSESSMENT LIMITATION BOX?

How many times have you heard someone say something like, “According to the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator, I’m an introvert (or extrovert) so I can’t _____”? When you hear that, it’s almost like the person is saying, “Do not expect me to be flexible, change, learn or grow. Act like I just arrived in a rigid box with a label like, ‘Authoritarian extrovert. Do not attempt to manipulate the contents of this box’.”

A client once said to me, “Pat’s a brute. Pat just can’t change. According to the DISC behavioral model assessment, this person will always be aggressive and demanding.” This is a serious misinterpretation of how personality indicators and behavioral model assessments were designed to be used. A tendency is not the total person. Neither is a behavioral preference. Plus, we all change, depending on circumstances, self-awareness, intentions and other factors, including whether or not we hire a coach.

Another client recently sent me four digital printouts of assessments about himself. The client’s request was disturbing. “Please review these before our coaching session. I want to plan a new life. I’m trying to interpret all of these assessment models about my personality and strengths. The harder I try, the more lost I feel. Help me out. I really want to know who I am. I need to know what I can achieve.”

Even though the instruments were reputable and had been conducted by professional service providers, the results were peppered with contradictions. The client had been labeled as power-oriented, compassionate, authoritarian, excellent in relating to others, introverted, extroverted, conscientious, patient, impatient, lacking follow-through and unmotivated.

With so many conflicting conclusions, you can see why he began his coaching session with a moan, “How can I be labeled authoritarian and power-oriented and also excellent in relating to other people? My brain is on tilt and my gut is a mess.”

You can imagine his relief when I said, “These assessments can provide value but they’re kind of like an MRI scan. They produce a snapshot in time. Who do you want to be?”

We then spent his valuable time clarifying his values, life purpose, vision and goals. Our rationale? We used coaching self-assessment tools as jumping-off points for developing passionate motivation. We emphasized his strengths, discovered hidden abilities and planned to compensate for his weaknesses.

After prioritizing his top five values, his vision became crystal clear. We developed a step-by-step plan he was excited about following because the course he set for himself was aligned with his core beliefs, competencies, values and vision. He became one of my most successful clients.

WHY DO WE LABEL AND LIMIT OURSELVES AND OTHER PEOPLE?

Our left brains are hard-wired to analyze people and situations as rapidly as possible. Our brains are set up to categorize as much data as possible to save precious energy. In order to manage the billions of new sensory data per minute competing for their attention, our brains quickly link a person, situation or characteristic with a previously stored association in our neural associative network.

This is why most of us are sometimes unconsciously lazy. We label people instead of being curious about who they are. We forget to ask questions like, “I wonder what they are capable of achieving?” and “What is this person teaching me about myself and life?” Too often, the labels that result from a personality inventory or behavioral assessment are confused with the person who is being assessed.

According to quantum mechanics, what exists changes according to the eye and expectations of an observer. The very presence of an observer produces an impact. This is often true regarding the person who confides, “The XYZ test says I’m _____.” His listeners expect him to act like ____. Voila! A self-fulfilling prophesy emerges.

Evidence to support this claim emerged long before the field of quantum mechanics became well-known. In the Rosenthal-Jacobson study leading to “the Pygmalion effect,” elementary school teachers were told which children were brighter than their peers. The teachers then unconsciously behaved in ways that facilitated and encouraged their students’ success.

We know that, within reason, people whom we expect to achieve more highly do surpass their peers. When our expectations for someone’s achievements are low, they internalize our poor expectations or our negative label. When we believe someone will excel and we wholeheartedly support them, because “reality” is so heavily influenced by the external world, the person almost always succeeds.

You can easily see how this process can block our personal and professional development. Instead of delighting in an exploratory conversation in which we’re curious to discover the inner workings of another person, we can limit ourselves and others by labeling people as an object with a fixed personality or rigid characteristics.

LEAP OUT OF THE SELF-ASSESSMENT LIMITATION BOX NOW

Almost everyone you know is capable of endless change and development. Why are so many people stuck in a rut, facing the same challenge over and over? Most people have been told that their personality and I.Q. are formed by age five. They perceive many of their abilities and weaknesses as set in a concrete block. All of us can shift our identity with conscious choice.

When you hear self-assessment labels, listen with respect. Gain any value available. Then remind yourself and the other person that all of us exist in a field of infinite possibilities. You can ask yourself and the other person simple questions like, “I see who the assessment says you are. Since this was a snapshot in time, who do you want to be now?” and “How do you want to grow beyond your existing identity?”

GAIN THE PROVEN ADVANTAGE OF COACHING

Coaching is a powerful, proven tool of helping people discover their hidden strengths, productively dream about their best possible future and then create what they want. Certified coaches elevate your problem-solving abilities. We use powerful, provocative questions to help you quickly and easily modify unpleasant situations. You discover how to transform painful events into empowering learning opportunities. You no longer feel like a victim of any circumstance because you discover how to use every situation in your life as a tool.

Coaches observe and honor your highest potential. We shine a spotlight on your greatness so you can shimmer brilliantly in a world that longs for your inner light.

You can read statistics about the value of coaching in a related article, “Proof: Coaching is an Excellent Investment . . . Discover the return on investment (ROI) of coaching.”

Enjoy self-discovery with a certified coach instead of passively accepting the results of an assessment or inventory. We’re trained to use a wide variety of techniques and tools to help you reach your full potential. Because we’re not limited by personality indicators, behavioral models or psychometric inventories, you’re never tempted to limit yourself by a label.

Your coach will also help you discover that many of your most powerful resources reside inside of you. This includes your amazing brain, body, mind, intuition and spirit. You’ll enjoy using every tool internally available to you, whether it’s a self-assessment or the crystal ball that emerges when you follow your intuition and attune with your inner wisdom. Take advantage of the proven magic of coaching!

© 2010. Are you ready to create a new life story? Download your free ebooks and MP3s at http://FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com. Sign up for your complimentary “Personal Breakthrough Consultation” with certified coach and bestselling author, Doris Helge, Ph.D. at http://CoachingByDoris.com.

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Allow me to introduce you to a part of yourself that is perfectly prepared to connect you with a deep sense of inner peace, even when you’re surrounded by chaos. If you would like a proven way to let go of struggle, self-judgment or doubt, this article is worth reading.

C.W. is your “Curious Witness.” C.W. is one of the most effective and effortless tools you’ll ever discover for transforming painful experiences into personal power and joy.

C.W. already lives inside of you. Notice that you’re analyzing the idea of a C.W. while you read this article. You’ve just proven that part of you is already playing the role of a neutral witness. This component of yourself is, and always has been, a friendly part of your core self.

When you discover how to use C.W., you develop profound trust in yourself and in the process of life. You avoid emotional roller coasters, self-judgment and judgment of your experiences.

Sound good?

With C.W., you become so curious about watching the movie of your life that you can’t wait to see how each scene turns out. You accept life on its own terms, so you’re filled with inner peace. You trust that your movie (your life) will continue to be interesting, so you have no desire or demand that it turn out a certain way. Since you have no attachment to a certain outcome, you witness your life in an impartial manner.

When you discover how to work with C.W. you observe yourself having unpleasant feelings or experiences. You don’t avoid or deny your emotions because what we resist persists. However, your emotions don’t become a primary identity. You acknowledge negative emotions and experience them as sensations in your body. You still gain the benefits of emotions, including new insights, but you’re very clear that you are not the anger, fear, or sadness that you observe yourself experiencing.

Because C.W. is a neutral, factual observer detached from emotional angst, negative feelings flow through very quickly. There’s no resistance. You easily detect misperceptions so they gently fade away. When you work with C.W., you’re blessed with an impartial umpire 24/7.

This means that you effortlessly avoid the temptation to judge your experiences as bad, unfortunate, or unnecessary. Fears of the unknown are overwhelmed by excitement concerning your next steps. Your energy is fully available to you. With the curiosity and enthusiasm of a toddler exploring a colorful new playground, you ask yourself, “I wonder what’s next?”

C.W. also calms your inner critic because you simply observe mental chatter. Instead of believing in — empowering — your critic’s negative messages, the deeper, all-knowing part of you takes over.

A wonderful and spontaneous transition occurs when C.W. consistently serves as your personal assistant. One day, you notice that you have substituted curiosity and the joy of learning for expectations that cause pain when they don’t come to fruition.

Because C.W. helps you experience life in the moment, you link with one of your best resources — your intuition. You steadily prove to yourself that you always have dependable inner guidance. Since happiness is a side effect of living fully in each moment and following your internal clues, you notice yourself smiling more often.

This one simple technique — employing a personal witness — can help you let go of struggle and judgment and adopt bliss as a new “familiar zone,” a 24-hour a day lifestyle. Are you ready to begin? Start now to connect with a deep state of inner peace that is always available to you. The easy proven process of using your C.W. is fully described in the books, “Transforming Pain Into Power” and “Joy on the Job.”

Are you ready to create a new life story? Sign up for your complimentary “Breakthrough Session” with certified coach, Doris Helge, Ph.D. at http://CoachingByDoris.com. Download free ebooks & audios, including “How to Thrive in a Wobbly World” at http://FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com.

Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is in tact, with proper credit given. All reprints must state, “Reprinted with permission by Doris Helge, Ph.D. Originally published in “Transforming Pain Into Power” & http://CoachingByDoris.com © 2010.

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Do you know anyone who fatigues more easily during the winter months? Is it ever more difficult to get motivated or reach your peak performance during the season of short daylight? Seasonal affective Disorder (SAD) is quite common, particularly in climates with frequent gray skies or short winter days. The surprise is that even people in sunny Florida are sometimes affected by the “Winter Blues” syndrome.

SAD is related to changes in environmental light, overcast days, or inadequate indoor lighting. SAD is not only related to blue moods. It can create health problems because common symptoms include daytime fatigue, sugar binges, carbohydrate craving, weight gain, lethargy, hopelessness, lack of interest in normal activities, and social withdrawal. Most SAD sufferers hate to get out of bed in the morning because they never feel rested.

None of this produces peak performance or joy on the job. The good news is that the condition can be corrected thoughtfully and fairly inexpensively.

Light therapy has long been considered the ideal treatment for SAD. Full-spectrum bulbs and bulbs with color temperatures between 3000 and 6500 degrees can blast the winter blahs. Some studies have indicated up to 86% of people affected by winter SAD completely overcame their symptoms when the light bulbs were used consistently.

Fluorescent lights have obtained a mixed review. Some people report that fluorescents assist with SAD, but ultraviolet light can damage eyes and skin. Fluorescents can also rob the body of B vitamins, which are essential to our sense of well-being.

I previously directed a national agency located in Washington State, an area with short winter days and overcast skies for months at a time. Staff who were affected by SAD talked openly about the tendency to feel lethargic and be susceptible to the winter blahs. Tardiness and absenteeism increased as winter drug on.

After installing full-spectrum bulbs, we noted a remarkable decrease in irritability and a significant increase in energy for a very minimal cost. Teamwork began to excel. People were much more enthusiastic and they arrived on time. Health care costs declined.

Although SAD is usually discussed with respect to depression, there are also SAD stories related to anger and aggression at work. How can exchanging a colored incandescent bulb for a low-watt light bulb transform a vicious temper into a state of serenity?

A pale purple incandescent bulb can create cheerfulness by mimicking daylight. Light works for and against us. When it’s direct, glaring, or ultra-bright, it can cause eyestrain and headaches.

Because SAD is related to daylight, it is also helpful to increase outdoor activity, especially on sunny days. Humans weren’t designed to spend all winter in enclosed buildings. Gaining additional natural exposure to sun can significantly elevate energy levels. For these reasons, I encouraged our employees to go outside during breaks and did the same thing myself. Eating a balanced diet can also be immensely helpful in counteracting the tendency toward SAD.

If you are a manager or team leader, observe what happens when you survey your staff before and after directly addressing the common problem of SAD in winter, particularly in northern climates. Increased productivity, teamwork, and greater morale will make you glad you did.

Doris Helge, Ph.D. is a certified coach and mentor coach, author of “Joy on the Job,” “Transforming Pain Into Power,” and other books published in many foreign languages. Discover more at http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com and http://TransformPainIntoPower.com, where you can download more free tips, articles and sample book chapters. You’ll also hear podcasts about “Secrets of Happiness” and you can sign up for the only ezine that focuses on happiness at work, the “Joy on the Job Ezine.”

If sad and mad are hanging around you this winter, get coaching about the winter blues. Visit http://CoachingByDoris.com.

You have permission to reprint the above article as long as it remains intact and proper attribution is given. © 2009.

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“All suffering is the result of the mind clinging to its unfortunate thoughts.” – Buddha

In Mary Sullivan’s brilliant essay, “Are You a Carrot, an Egg or a Bean?” she depicts a distraught daughter explaining to her mother about how “hard” life is. It’s so hard, the daughter contemplates the option of “ending it all.”

The mother escorts her daughter to the kitchen and immediately fills three pots with water and puts them on the stove.

In the first pot she places carrots.
In the second she places eggs.
And in the third pot, she places coffee beans.

Without saying a word she lets them boil. Twenty minutes later, she turns off the burners. She takes out the carrots and places them in a bowl. Next, she takes the eggs out and places them in a bowl. Then, she ladles out the coffee and places it in a bowl.

The daughter then asks, “Mother, what’s your point?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. However, each responded differently. The carrots went in strong and unrelenting; but after being subjected to the boiling water, they lost their strength. The eggs were “soft-hearted;” but after sitting through the boiling water, they became hard. Their conditions had changed them.

However, the coffee beans were unique. After being placed in boiling water, the coffee beans changed the water.

The beans actually changed the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain or adversity. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

When life leads you to your “boiling point” be as a coffee bean. Show your true nature and step into your own power to change the world around you. Change your conditions and unleash the greatness within you – expect success, express gratitude and take responsibility.

By Flo Mauri, Thinking Well Consulting, www.thinkingwellconsulting.com
Leave Comments at “Chart Your Change” blog, www.flomauri01@wordpress.com

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Is your ‘to do’ list growing out of control? Not enough hours in the day? Are you working hard but feel that you’re just not getting anywhere? Then today’s show is just for you.

Join Annemarie Cross and Keith Keller as they speak to Doris Helge, Ph.D and Melbourne’s own Donna Hanson about how you can avoid burnout. Make 2010 your year by finding more balance in your life and learning how to work smarter and not harder.

Our phone lines and chat room will be open so ring in and get expert career advice for all your life and work balance questions. Remember to visit us at our Career Success Radio Community page at: www.careersuccessradio.com where as always, there are fantastic resources for Jobseekers, Career Changers, HR Professionals and Recruiters alike. Including competitions, Twitter polls, job vacancies, articles, forums, careers and of course a great place to continue building your network.

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